I would put out every
Cigarette i've ever
Smoked on every
Inch of the
Disgusting acreage of the
Whitelined agesigned hide-
Away that holds my
Organs in-
Side out,
If it stopped this
Way my heart
Wishes to tear its
Own trajectory through
And out of me.
Would that let you
Believe how I
Disbelieve?
The folds of my brain
Sink with shame
And my eyes grow
Darker everyday,
Love, how can
Your light
Stand all my
Dust?
I kill my
Interminable time, wondering
If my small love is enough;
Wide enough to traverse the
Distances
You and I often cannot;
Whether it will
Dull and darken and
Wither and wane
And fade in the face of
So many days.
Will my small love
Outlive greater bigger
Stronger brighter
Lights that threaten
To swallow us whole?
Memories threaten to
Be such sickly reminders
Of what's meant more
To you and I, and I
Wish that
You'd have the same
Fears as mine
So maybe they
Could hesitatingly
Outstretch and meet
For a kiss, halfway.
Spiderwebs caught me everytime I
Drowned. It's colder now, though, and
My evenings ceaselessly spiral through
Your letters today.
It's five in the evening and the sky's pitch
Black. Sunsets are early here, always on
The brink of swallowing my tardiness in
Their rush towards the Horizon.
I forgot to wear a sweater today, and the
Gooseflesh on my arm wrote silly sorts
Of letters in words somebody would probably
Understand.
I talked to you and forgot what wishes
Were in order, as per usual. Forgive me.
I remember dates. It's the days that have
Always passed me by.
29/11/2016
May we meet
Again under lampshades
Made out of papers
That had once
Been my letters
And your airplanes.
May our eyes meet before
Our tongues scalded the
Insides of our mouths so
Irreparably.
May I beg for your
Forgiveness and
May you have my compassion.
May our fingertips not crackle when they touch.
May your silences rest
In resounding peace, tonight
When I will write about how
Easily I tear into my skin
May you never need to hear me
Scream about pain anymore.
There's things i think
'd be nice to think of
When i meet you
Again, and stop begrudging
Each lovely day its
Interminable length.
For even as my
Head joins lines on
Maps that are probably
Misremembered bits of rudimentary
Geography, i read my books and
Wonder what you'd have
Thunk of this line.
But though a hundred
Clever little things would want
To be said and read, by
Then, I'd maybe prefer a small
Silence, stretched seamlessly
Around two-by-one midnights.
suddenly be.
enter your mind
to show you voids you
never knew existed. voids
that she will now fill.
take you to a meadow
middle of fall and fall
to the ground and pull at your
sleeve so you want to fall, too.
stand above you. smudgy hands-
fuls of red leaves shower down
like limp confetti. "breathe in,
don't drown."
then laugh and you
feel the air tighten around
her neck as she throws caution
and love to the wind.
leave you in your sleep.
draw you with cobwebs and shades of
last evening's sunset and the
drop of blood her kiss
had drawn from your lip.
still smile when you
see her on the street
or in your orange-purple
flame-doused dream.
part her lips a little
bit to remind you
of marks her teeth
left on your heart,
set in stone
and your broken bone.
Like every time you'd
Jerk away from furtive fingers
That crept towards
You in sleep
Like every time I'd draw
Slowly back and bite down
On a slice of lemon
Bitter-sour-sweetsmell
This will be no different;
Noises scare you,
And silences offend me.
